Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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