So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
