Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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