didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
