we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
