I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
