i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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