My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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