great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
