Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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