hotel room ftw
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
