hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
