When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
