do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
