Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
