I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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