we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
