Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
