Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
