He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
