I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
