ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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