Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you didnt know i had herpes?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
