its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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