Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
