So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
