I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
