I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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