yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
