can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
