he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
