Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
