They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there was a trapeze. enough said
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
