4 words: hood of his car
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize