The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
