is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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