Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
