I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
