is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You can't motorboat a personality
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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