Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
