this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
what day is it and did you see me today?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
