this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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