put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
