So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
