Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i barfeds in our rink
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
