having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
