It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
