What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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