I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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