Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
