If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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