Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
