okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
