I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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