physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
