your parents love me but you hate me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
